regarding amulets & talismans 🧿🪬

or, on how the ordinary becomes sacred

I had the privilege of vacationing in Puerto Vallarta recently, a trip made possible by generous friends. While on a morning walk along the Malecón, I spotted this message amidst a mosaic in the market square:

These words stuck with me, so much so that I made the image my phone wallpaper; I’ve been pondering whether or not I agree with this statement. And I think I do.

I believe that much of what has been referred to as “magic” up to this point in human history could also been called God, intuition, prayerful intention, ahead-of-its-time cleverness, and/or sheer force of will. Witches who could ease pain; mothers who knew where to find their missing child; ordinary humans overcoming addiction, trauma, pain. All of this, magic rooted in some kind of love.

Have powerful and tremendous things been done in service of evil? Of course, and such things continue. But I wouldn’t call these workings magical, even if we could prove some otherworldly power was being wielded. When you harness an energy greater than you but use it in service of yourself, or to harm others, that isn’t magic - it’s cheating.

Love seems so ordinary to us that we take for granted what a tremendously illogical and improbable phenomenon it is. When we choose love inside of a system that encourages competition and individualism, we are doing something radical. Love can push us to transcend ourselves, reconsider our judgments, and step outside of our own little corner of the human condition long enough to experience the juicy moments that make life worth living. To connect despite fear. To defy space and time, making our presence known to those we care about. To allow a softening, an opening, a spark.

Magic.

So I’m not sure if love is the only magic left that I believe in, or if love has been the source of magic all along. Perhaps I was previously dazzled or misled by the appearance of what I presumed was magic but was in actuality cheap showmanship. The real magic, the actual good stuff, is often much quieter, less glamorous. But that doesn’t make it any less powerful.

If you know me or have been reading along for a while, you know that I have been in a period of serious life rearranging. The end of a marriage, change in career, change in geographic location, chronic pain, new primary relationship, the end of several friendships, learning to co-parent/parent half-time and also inter generational living. Phew.

Just as friends held me up in the throes of grief when my father died 17 years ago, many of the same friends (and some new additions!) have stuck with me through the so-absurd-as-to-be-laughable ups and downs of this life rollercoaster, showing up with more compassion and support than I honestly thought I deserved. It’s no exaggeration to say I couldn’t - or wouldn’t - have made it through this past year without my true-blue friends. (And also, my dog & my therapist. Who are two different entities equally good at helping me regulate!)

There are two pieces of jewelry that I wear faithfully these days, because they have come to take on meaning and significance beyond their face value. One is small beaded bracelet that reads “FEARLESS,” which actually came in a care package for my daughter from one of my best friends over a year ago. I was immediately drawn to it, not because I felt it described me, but because I was awed by the idea that a person would claim such a descriptor for themselves. I did not feel fearless, but I wanted to be. My daughter breezily handed the bracelet over, implying but not stating outright that she personally did not need such an aspirational talisman. (That kid was born fearless.) And so, I began to wear the bracelet. Whenever I looked at it on my arm, I re-set my intention, to live fearlessly; not that it’s possible or even desirable to eliminate fear altogether, but that I wished to be someone who did not make her decisions based in fear.

At some point, the bracelet was misplaced, dropped behind the bed or swept under a rug. It emerged about a week ago and when I saw it and slipped it back onto my wrist, I grinned wide; I have become the person I wanted to be, a woman who does not make decisions based in fear. This has cost me. Some of the people in my life don’t understand or agree with my choices, and sitting with that is difficult for the people-pleaser in me. But I was socialized to put other’s needs above my own and now, as an adult, I can consciously choose another path. I remain caring, kind, generous to others—the difference is that now I work to offer myself the same consideration I once only extended to others.

I have one other special amulet, gifted by a different friend, one who is especially skilled in the art of giving gifts. She mailed me this necklace on a random day; not my birthday or any kind of anniversary, just an ordinary weekday, which somehow made its arrival all the more special.

This piece is modeled after a 14th-century necklace from West Africa, housed at The Metropolitan Museum. The original is made of copper bells, which were believed to announce one’s presence, both in the earthly realm and in the realm of the spirit, to the ancestors, to conjure protection. It’s kind of a “Here I am!” necklace, and my friend rightly intuited that such an amulet could serve me well in this part of my life. When I read her note and explanation of the necklace’s significance, I felt profoundly seen. That is the true gift, one which is now wrapped up in this piece of jewelry I wear around my neck. If that isn’t magic, I don’t know what is.

Tell me about a talisman or amulet of significance to you: how did it come into your possession? What meaning does it carry for you? Which seasons of your life has it seen you through? I’d love it if some of you shared in the comments - and upload a photo if you’re willing!

(This would make a fine journal prompt, if you’re into that kind of thing. You can take a gander at describing the object, too, an excellent opportunity to flourish that figurative language.)

Thank you, as ever, for being here. I can’t tell you how much it means.

xoxo

Nishta

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